Miscarriage #2

8/13/15

Today I learned my second miscarriage is imminent.  For now, it’s a waiting game, except that (a) we have the power to stop waiting (a prescription for a drug that will bring it on in 4-8 hours) and (b) I’m trying desperately to not sit around and wait.

This experience is bringing to light so many things I took for granted.  My first miscarriage showed me that just because it’s relatively easy for me to GET pregnant, doesn’t mean it’s easy to have a second child.  But even then, I operated off of the confident assumption that a healthy pregnancy was just over the horizon and only a matter of time.  Now, I realize that I have to consider the fact that my family might be done growing.  I might find myself a mother to only one person, a role I cherish and am thankful for all hours of the day, but one I never imagined for myself.

We haven’t talked about it, but I assume we will start trying again right away.  I am debating whether I want to track and plan and count and worry and wonder about the two week window and all of that headache.  But since my hormone cycles show up pretty clearly, I may not have a choice (Gabrielle Lichterman at HormoneHoroscope.com has me pegged).  It may be a matter of how much information I’m tracking, not whether I’m tracking.

Hormonology week:  n/a, I’m waiting to miscarry
Book I’m reading:  Beyonders 3:  Chasing the Prophesy, Brandon Mullen (YA audiobook)